InnerMotion - Incwadi Yesiqondiso - Kungani Ngibhale Le Ncwajana Yesiqondiso
Konke kwaqala ngobusuku obubodwa ngo-1993. Ngangineminyaka eyishumi nantathu engahlaliseki, ngigcwele ukulindela i-rave yami yokuqala. Njengoba ngangimi ekamelweni lami, ngingaqiniseki ukuthi ngizolindelani, udadewethu omdala wangena, wamomotheka, wanikeza iseluleko esilula: “Vala amehlo akho, ulalele umculo, bese udansa.” Ngalandela iseluleko sakhe, futhi kwakuyilokho kanye engangikudinga. Ngangingakaze ngidansele lolo hlobo lomculo ngaphambili, kodwa ngalobo busuku, njengoba izinsimbi zikagesi zigcwalisa igumbi, ngavala amehlo ami ngaqala ukunyakaza. Kwazizwa kumangalisa futhi ngakuthanda ngokushesha! Kwakungathi kukhona okungaphakathi kimi okwakulinde leso sikhathi. Angizange ngikuqaphele ngaleso sikhathi, kodwa lobo busuku bavusa ukuxhumana nomculo kanye nokunyakaza okwakuzobumba impilo yami yonke.
Kusukela ngaleso sikhathi kuqhubeke, amakilabhu e-techno aba yindawo yami yokukhosela kanye nesikole sami. Ubusuku ngabunye engichitha ngidansa bangethula emphakathini ophilayo - umndeni okhethiwe ogcwele abantu abaphefumulelayo kanye nemibono eguqulayo. Amandla amakhulu esigcawu se-rave saseBelgrade ngawo-1990 anikeza isizinda esifanele sokukhula kwami nokuhlola. Ukudansa kwaba okungaphezu nje kokuzilibazisa; kwaguquka kwaba umkhuba obalulekile, kwangisiza ukuphatha ukucindezeleka, ukucubungula imizwa, nokuxhumana kabusha nami. Ngisho nanamuhla, eminyakeni engamashumi amathathu nambili kamuva, ukudansa kumakilabhu kusalokhu kuyingxenye ebalulekile yempilo yami, isiko elithandwayo lenjabulo, ukukhululeka, kanye nokuzitholela.
Iminyaka eminingi, ngangidansa ngokwemvelo kuphela, ngaphandle kwesakhiwo noma isiqondiso. Lokho kwashintsha ngo-2016, lapho uhambo lwami luthatha indlela entsha enamandla ngenxa yodokotela wami wezifo zengqondo nomeluleki, uHana Stamatović. Wangimema kwenye yemihlangano yakhe yokusebenzela ye-_PH0__ eyayinikeza inhlanganisela eyingqayizivele yokunyakaza nokuhlola kwengqondo. Kusukela esimisweni sokuqala, ngangithanda kakhulu. Ngaqala ukuqonda ukuthi ukudansa kwakungeyona nje into engokomzimba, kungaba ukuphulukisa okujulile, ukuguqula, nokwembula. Izimfundiso zikaHana mayelana nokubonakaliswa, isisekelo, ukuqaphela, kanye nokubonakaliswa kwemizwelo kwangithinta kakhulu, futhi ngazithola ngibhala phansi ngokucophelela yonke imininingwane nokuzivocavoca, ngilangazelela ukubamba konke engangikufunda.
I-workshop eyodwa engasoze yalibaleka yaba yinguquko endleleni engangizihlanganisa ngayo nomdanso. Esigabeni sokugcina somjikelezo wethu wamasonto ayisikhombisa, samenywa ukuba size sigqoke izingubo njengendlela yokubonakalisa nokuveza inguqulo entsha yethu eyavela ngenqubo yokudansa. Ngakhetha ukuguqula izandla zami zibe yizikhumbuzo eziphilayo zakho konke uHana angifundise kona, ngizimboze ngezimpawu ezakha uhlobo "lwephepha lokukhohlisa" ngokusekelwe kumanothi engangiwaqoqe eminyakeni edlule.
Esigabeni sethu esilandelayo sokwelapha, uHana wangibuza, “Ubungazizwa kanjani ngokuba uthisha womkhuba onjengalona? Ungumuntu wemvelo. Bobabili abazali bakho bangothisha, futhi amanothi akho anemininingwane, ahlanganiswe nengqondo yakho yesayensi, angakwenza ube muhle kakhulu kukho.” Ngahleka ngathi, “Cha, lokho akusikho okwami - angikwazi ukuzibona ngifundisa iqembu labantu.” Kodwa-ke, kungakapheli iminyaka emithathu, konke kwase kushintshe kakhulu.
When Hana passed away on November 4th, 2022, our dance community was left heartbroken. She had a rare ability to guide people toward a deeper connection with themselves through dance. There was something extraordinary about the way she held space, it was calm, intuitive, and full of presence and love. She didn’t just teach movement; she helped people feel safe enough to be fully themselves. Through her work, many of us experienced breakthroughs we didn’t even know we needed. She was truly one of a kind. After her death, I felt a quiet but strong pull to keep exploring the knowledge about dance she had shared with me.
As I searched for deeper understanding, I was surprised to discover a significant gap in knowledge and there were very few comprehensive resources on conscious, intuitive dance. I spent hours digging through websites, articles, and videos, hoping to find something that reflected what Hana had taught us. I couldn’t find anything that captured the essence of her work. Then, at the Parallel Festival in September 2023, surrounded by beautiful music, nature, and a sense of belonging, something clicked. I would write the guide I had always needed and share this knowledge with others who might be searching too.
Fueled by years of personal notes, extensive scientific research, and relentless curiosity, I began pouring myself into this project. What started as a simple idea rapidly evolved into an ambitious mission - a comprehensive manual filled with techniques, exercises, and insights on mindfulness, embodiment, emotional connection, and transcending inhibition. Each session on the dance floor became a laboratory for testing and refining these ideas, deepening my understanding and bringing newfound joy to my own dance practice.
As my vision expanded, I realized I needed to develop new skills, especially in creating safe spaces, guiding groups, building trust, and understanding how movement can evoke deep emotional responses and altered states of consciousness. Then, in September 2024, once again at the Parallel Festival, I experienced another powerful insight: this knowledge wasn’t something to keep to myself, it needed to be shared widely. That realization inspired the creation of DanceResource.org - a non-profit, open-source platform for dancers, facilitators, researchers, and curious newcomers to explore movement as a path to self-awareness, healing, connection, and transformation. Determined to grow further, I enrolled in the Center for Integrative Development (CIR) in September 2024. A few months later, in December, I began mentorship with Alexey Kuzmin, an experienced teacher with over a decade of leading conscious dance workshops. Finally, in March 2025 - after twenty years in the IT world - I took the leap. I left my job to dedicate myself fully to the path of dance.
This guide is more than a manual; it is a testament to the transformative power of dance, a tribute to Hana’s legacy, and an invitation to anyone who has ever felt the pulse of music stirring within. My deepest wish is that through this practice, others will discover the boundless freedom and authenticity waiting to emerge from within their bodies - just as I did on that unforgettable night, all those years ago.
